Relationships: Time

As I get older my decision making skills when it comes to dipping out of a bad situation as far as dating is concerned has become more finely tuned. Also as I get older for me it becomes more apparent what it is that I want from a relationship and in a perspective partner. Gone are the days of the indecisiveness and apprehensiveness. Things for me are much more clear cut and to the point. I don't linger in wonderment for the person that I am talking with to make the next move or decision. I know right away if the relationship is going somewhere or if it's at a stall.

Recent dates have showed me that dudes that I've talked to are very much unsure of what they want or they are under the impression that something better or more fitting for them may come along. All of this is true, but what I don't understand is why people find it okay to waste their time and another persons time if they are pretty sure that it's not going to work. What I've learned is that you can't wait or expect someone to tell you that it's not going to go in the direction that either of you had hoped.

Certain signs for me when talking to someone that it's just died is if something changes in the way they communicate with me. If we go from conversing three or four times a day and then all of a sudden we talk once in a week then it's time for us to see what's up. If their only response is they've been busy with no explanation then I need to get like Ray Charles and "...hit the road."

A lot of people say that I don't give people enough time - but guess what - I've only got so much and I don't know when my clock is going to expire. I always remind people that life is way too short and much too important to waste one moment in a situation that you know is not right or not progressing the way that you know it should or could. Things can only go as far as both people want them and if one person is putting up a stop sign while you're trying to proceed ahead you need to make your way to that person who is holding the same sign as you! Go forward and grab onto life.

Love - More Than A Word

I like how the heart has become the symbol for love. Probably because it's one of the most important organs in the body (I think they're all important and want all of mine as long as I live, but I digress). My belief is that you cannot allow your heart to always control the way you feel when it comes to loving someone, and caring about them. Your heart will sometimes lead you in a direction that you shouldn't go. That's why I like to love and and think with my brain before my heart. If you're ever trying to let someone go start thinking with your brain and not your heart. Your brain is the better judge of character, your heart will lead you to what feels comfortable and to those who may feign a love for you. Remember actions speak louder than words, and your heart doesn't care about actions - it's waiting for those words. Don't get caught up.

The One that Got Away?

I think for most of us we have that one person who we look back fondly on and say to ourselves, "...if only." I have that special someone in my heart and mind and I think about them daily. This person is honestly one of my best friends, probably biggest ally, and constant source of uplifting and support. I do on many occasions think about what it would be like if I hadn't brokeup with them or if we got back together how it would be. In all honesty it seems like sometimes we never brokeup. Our love for each other hasn't changed, and it seems like our bond grew stronger once we did breakup.

We didn't breakup for the usual things that people breakup over, ours was over having physically moved away from each other. Our breakup was actually quite well. We talked on the phone everyday after, constantly E-mailed each other when we were busy, and always made sure to be aware of each others needs emotionally, always offering support and comfort to each other. It's actually quite a beautiful thing.

I must say that you raised the bar for me when it comes to what I expect from someone that's interested in me and who I am interested. You are the scale to which I weigh the likelihood of being with a potential suitor. What I have found is that there will be no way to duplicate what we had, but in my heart I keep the beautiful memories that you and I share. And when we talk and toy with the idea of being back together my mind flutters with thoughts of finally being in one of the most beautiful places I've ever been....with you.

You're the most beautiful person I've ever been with, and that will never change. Being with you made me discover how you have to work at what you want and truly hangon to those that you love. As we slowly make our way into a new chapter and possibly together, I take a moment here to thank you for being the most thoughtful, caring, and beautiful person I've known. You are the best and may you continue to grow and find success in all that you do. I love you Kai.